Lost In Illusion
by lovestar29
Summary: Draco and Harry become best friends during their eighth year at Hogwarts. Draco is completely in love with Harry, but is afraid to make a move and stays silent about it instead. They end up being roommates and while Draco is head over heels with Harry, Harry is dating guys left and right. When a terrible tragedy happens, Harry will have to care for Draco and teach him how to love


**Author:** Lovestar29

 **Title** **:** Lost In Illusion

 **Summary:** Draco and Harry become best friends during their eighth year at Hogwarts. Draco is completely in love with Harry, but is afraid to make a move and stays silent about it instead. They end up being roommates and while Draco is head over heels with Harry, Harry is dating guys left and right. When a terrible tragedy happens, Harry will have to care for Draco and teach him how to love when he has forgotten everything.

 **Pairing:** Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

 **Genre:** Fluff and light angst, romance, hurt/comfort

 **Warnings:** May have future Mpreg

 **Lost in Illusion**

 **Chapter One**

 _"I've been losing myself in an illusion._

 _I've lost myself in the illusion of loving you."_

* * *

Draco was in the common room that he and the other eighth year's shared together. It was currently empty with the fire cackling softly in the background and a small window enchanted to look out into a forest. Not the eerie kind like the one they have here at Hogwarts, but one where adventures are heard, where it's peaceful and quiet.

Somewhere Draco wished he could run away to.

He hated it here, where everyone stared at him with accusatory eyes and jinxed him everytime they caught him alone in the corridors of the school. But in all honesty he preferred Hogwarts over the Manor any day. That place held too many nightmares, too much darkness. It reeked of death, blood, and murder. It was lonely, though not the kind that Draco sometimes wished for when he was in the hospital wing and looking at the blank, white ceiling, where he stayed awake in pain and just imagined his life alone and happy.

But no, instead the place he use to call home is lonely in the kind of way death comes to take you away. In the way that darkness swallows your entire being and leaves nothing, but the ashes of a broken heart.

Fuck, he's turing into some kind of poet. He should stop reading those muggles stories Pansy is obssesed with.

The portrait enters and Draco looks up to see Potter enter with _just-got-shagged_ and his clothes _rummpled_ with _red, swollen_ lips. Holy Merlin, did the Savior of the Wizardring World just get shagged?

"Potter."

Potter looks up surprised and maybe a bit embarressed although Draco can't tell whether the blush was there before or after he asked the question.

"Malfoy?" His green eyes shine in the darkness of the room and Draco is entranced almost hypnotized by what they hold.

Not replying, Draco nods and returns to his homework that he only has a chance to do now because the library is always filled with Ravenclaws that hex him and his dorm room is currently being abused with a hurricane ever since his best mate Blaise and his dear friend Pansy got together.

And so Draco finds himself in an empty common room with a just-had-sex Potter and his Potions essay. Ignoring Potter is easy, he's been doing it since coming back, but Potter takes his greeting as a signal to keep talking.

"I think ... I'm gay." Potter says and his green eyes are sparkling, _actually sparkling_ , and the last time Draco saw such fire in those emerald eyes was when he fought with the Dark Lord.

"Well... as intresting this is Potter, I frankly do not care." Which is a huge lie because Draco has been pining after Potter since he was eleven and met him in that robe shop.

When Draco looks up again after a long, awkward silence Potter is just staring at him and has a huge goofy grin that makes Draco's insides twist and burst with butterflies.

 _Merlin he should stop reading those romance books._

"You know Malfoy, you're the first person I confess this to and that is the response you give me." Draco looks like he's about to say something because he can't tell whether it was a question or a statement. He decides to stay quiet and let Potter talk. "And I'm bloody glad I told you because you aren't looking at me like I'm a freak or asking for some bloody explaination."

Draco just stares at Potter, because surely he can't be the first person he tells and is _glad_ that he told him. "It would be a bit hypocritcal from me if I looked at you like a freak." Is all he says before he returns his attention to his essay that still needs another six inches before it's finished.

He doesn't get to see the disbelief expression that crosses Potter's face nor the smile that spreads either. "Malfoy a pouf? Well isn't today the day of confessions?"

There's a bit of amusement in Potter's voice and Draco bites back a snide remark, instead chosing to finish the bloody essay for Slughorn. "Don't get use to it Potter. I don't plan on sitting here and talking to you about my sex life."

Sex life, _what sex life_? Bloody fuck, Draco has never kissed a bloke in his entire life. Nevermind sex. Even if he's known for being the 'Sex God' of Slytherin Draco had this sappy fantasy in his mind where Potter would take his virginity away and declare his love to him.

Ha, that would be the day.

Potter just nods before lying down on the couch next to where Draco is doing his last minute touches to the essay. And somehow Draco is oddly comforted with Potter's even breathing and the faint sound of wood being burned.

* * *

Somehow the next day in the lonely common room Draco finds that Potter is sitting in the sofa he laid on yesterday, reading some book and his face a total look of concentration. Slipping quietly into the table he sat at the night before, Potter looks up to give him a small smile before returning his attention back to the book. Draco a bit surprised, takes out his Transfiguration homework and is only interupted with the occasional yawn of Potter.

It's peaceful and quiet, just like he wishes for.

* * *

Potter has taken in mind that just because they have been quietly hanging out for the past month, that it means that they can partner up for classes they share.

Not that Draco is complaining, he has realized that when Potter is not being an annoying prat he can be quite smart and work easy. They end up being the the first ones to finish the potion for Slughorn and it leaves Draco feeling smug because for the first time since becoming enemies with Potter they have both finished a potion _without_ fighting at all.

Draco isn't really surprised when the Professor and the class stare at him and Potter with gobsmacked expressions.

Nor is he surprised when Potter gives him that dazziling, bright smile that seems to only ever be directed only to him.

The flutter of his heart doesn't surprise him either.

* * *

When Potter comes inside the common room, the day after returning from Holidays, crying and looking like his heart has been broken into pieces Draco doesn't know what to do.

Potter is there, looking like he wants nothing more than to curl into a ball and just die. And it fucking _scares_ Draco because Potter doesn't deserve to ever feel like that. He deserves to be happy for everything he has given.

Draco finds himself cuddling a sobbing Potter and just soothing him, telling him that whoever made him cry doesn't deserve anything from him. He tells him to let it all out and Draco has never wished for anything more that he does now.

Because all he wants is to whisper to Potter's ear and tell him, "I love you."

* * *

It turns out that the bloke that Potter had been going out with had cheated on him and then proceeded to tell Potter that he is worthless.

Now, Draco use to be a Death Eater and he knows a lot of curses that can painfully kill someone. Draco had half a mind to look for thw bastard and maake sure he suffers before dying for telling Potter such things. The only reason he didn't do it though was because Potter said that Draco shouldn't trouble himself for trash like that.

"Come on Potter, tell me so I can jex him back inside his mother's vagina and make sure he stays in there."

Potter lets out a small laugh and Draco feels giddy inside for hearing that soft noise and knowing that it was him that got Potter to make it.

"No. I am not going to let you get your pretty hands dirty for some stupid cock head. Now, instead you should tell me how your Christmas was instead and just forget the stupid bastard."

Draco narrows his eyes, but just lets out a long sigh. His holiday had been horrible, Draco had never felt so lonely. Blaise and Pansy had left to enjoy coupley stuff, Potter had left for the Weasley's household and that left Draco to such loneliness that he had been sure he was going to die.

He had absolutely refused to return to the Manor, his mother had moved to France and well, his father was rotting away in Azkaban. So he had stayed at Hogwarts where he had never left his dorm, calling houselves to bring him food and just laying in bed thinking about how much he hated his life.

"I guess it was fine." He lies instead.

He knows that Potter doesn't believe it, he can see it in his green eyes that look at him sadly.

"That's good."

Draco doesn't know if it's good, he forgot what good meant.

* * *

Somewhere between Janurary and March Potter becomes _Harry_.

Draco can recall the exact moment it happened. They were walking in Hogsmeade and just looking around the shops without really buying anything. Potter had been telling Draco about some new guy he had met that was funny and great in bed.

"Potter. I have told you many times that you and your bed partners can stick it up there arse because I frankly can give two fucks about your sex life." He had said with a bored tone, but inside dying because he was wishing that Potter was the one bedding him. Not those stupid idiots who only wanted him for his fame.

Potter, of course, had laughed it off and proceded on telling Draco that he could find someone for him.

"You know Jesse-" Potter had started

"Jesse?! What kind of horrendous name is that?" Draco had exclaimed, but only because Draco didn't want to hear about the guys names that Potter had been with.

"Malfoy, will you shut up and let me finish?"

Draco had stopped walking, throwing Potter a dry look, "No Harry, I wi-"

Draco's mouth was filled with silky, black hair and arms hugging him tightly.

" _Oof!_ Poffer! Gef off merr!" When Potter looked up at Draco, he was sure he would go blind with the bright smile that Potter was giving him.

"Waff?" Draco asked with a mouthful of hair that smelled and tasted like vanilla and strawberries.

The goofy, bright smile was still there, "You called me Harry," his voice a whisper and Draco widened his eyes because Merlin in a shit bag he just crossed the line.

Calling Potter, Harry, meant friendship and friendship meant friendzone, _he should stop watching muggle movies with Pansy,_ and then that meant that now he didn't have a chance with Potter anymore.

But when Potter had reached his ear and whispered, "I like you calling me Harry, _Draco_." Draco could honestly give no fucks because the happiness shining in those emerald orbs was worth saying Harry and even being placed in the friendzone.

* * *

Draco was shitless scared.

No that was a lie, he was fucking _terrified_ because school was going to end soon and that meant probably never seeing Po- _no Harry_ , ever again.

Draco had come to rely on Harry and his laugh. He didn't want to let go of the smiles and the teasing. He needing to see those dark, green eyes everyday and listen to that deep voice that sent chills up his spine. _Fuck_ , he was going to miss having to hear Harry talk about the guys he was sleeping with and how Jared was annoying and Denny was a prick.

He didn't want to leave, not now, not ever.

* * *

The day of his brithday, June 5, was probably the best day of Draco's shity life.

Harry was on Blaise bed and staring at the dark ceiling. "What are you planning on doing Draco after Hogwarts?"

Draco was also laying down and catching the snitch. He hadn't expected the question, "Uh, well I want to enroll to Deleon Uni of Potions school. You know to study Potions and all that. You?"

Harry had turned to Draco, "Well, I plan on becoming Auror and moving into a flat over in London."

Draco avoided Harry's gaze, he didn't like thinking about Harry and him seperating. They had just made an amazing friendship and Draco didn't want it to end. Ever.

"That's nice," gaze still not looking at Harry, "I don't really know where I'm going to stay."

Harry knew about his feelings to the Manor and Draco didn't fancy the idea of moving to France in his mother's terrace.

"Well, I have a surprise for you my dear friend Drakie Poo."

Draco threw Harry a pillow and muttered a "Fuck off." Harry laughed and got up from the bed to sit next to Draco. He took out a small rectangular box that was wrapped in silver paper. "Happy birthday, Draco." Harry had whispered.

Draco had been taken a back, he didn't know that Harry had known that today was his nineteenth birthday. He hadn't told anyone because he knew no one would care. Alright well, there were a few like Blaise, Pansy and his mother who had given him presents. But he was surprised to know that Harry had bothered.

"Err, thanks Harry." Slowly Draco unwrapped the paper and opened the box. Inside was a... key?

"A key?" Draco turned to look at Harry who looked a bit uncertain and nervous.

"It's the key to my new flat. I-I want you to move in with me Draco, you know roommates and all. You don't have to move in wit-"

Harry hadn't been able to finish because Draco had hugged him. Harry wanted to live with him! He wanted to be with Draco and never let go just like him!

"Yes, yes, yes, yes,yes." Draco chanted over and over again, scared that this was all just a dream and that Harry hadn't asked him to live with him.

He heard a chuckle and peered at Harry through his fringe, "I knew you wouldn't say no, Draco."

How could he say no?

* * *

On the night of graduation day, Draco sat with Pansy and Blaise. He was looking over at Harry who sat next to Granger and Weasley.

The common room was filled with students getting drunk off their arses, Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas had been making out in front of everyone and people where catcalling and shouting at them to get a room!

"Oi, Draco what is this I hear about you and Potter living together?" Blaise asked Draco while watching Finnigan and Thomas grope each other. _Disgusting_.

"Where did you hear that Blaise?" Draco hadn't wanted to tell Pansy or Blaise about him moving in with Harry. They both knew all about his crush, okay not crush more like love of life, and didn't want him to get hurt.

"I heard the know-it-all and Weasel talk about it with Potter. They said that you two shouldn't live together, but I didn't get to hear the rest 'cause they saw me." Blaise says, taking a swing on his beer.

Draco nods, why wouldn't Granger and Weasley think it a not good idea to move in together? Draco has been nothing, but polite to both of them and even going as far as hanging out with them. Why are they against it?

"So, it's true?"

"What's true?" Pansy ask.

Blaise looks over at her, "Draco is moving in with Potter."

Pansy looks at Draco, concern written in her brown eyes, "Do you really think it's a good idea Dray? I mean, maybe you should move in-"

Frustarted Draco cuts in, "Yes, it's true! And it's already been decided, I'm moving in with him okay. Now stop it, I am not asking for your blessing or permission."

Standing up and ignoring his friends pleas to come back Draco picks up a bottle of Firewhiskey. He jumps startled when he feels strong arms wrap around his waist and a chin settle on his shoulder. "You up for sleep?" Harry whispers in his ear, leaving Draco a shivering mess.

"Yeah, lets go up." Following Harry up the stairs into the dorm, Draco lets go of the hand and lands on his bed. A heavy body is topped on him, "Potter! Off. Now!"

Draco feels Harry laugh and roll off to the space left. The room is quiet, the noise bellow them just a faint sound and the moonlight shining through the window giving the room a calm aura.

It feels like the perfect moment for Draco to tell Harry his feelings for him.

"Harry-"

A loud snore interrupts Draco, course he would sleep. He did after all want to come to bed just to sleep.

That night as Draco listens to Blaise enter the room and the noise level die down for the night, Draco cries himself to sleep.

Even with the warmth of Harry next to him and Blaise quiet snores Draco feels empty and lonely. He turns to look at Harry, who looks so relax and beautiful there asleep next to him. His voice when he speaks is a soft, shaky whisper, "I love you, Harry."

No one responds back.

* * *

The next morning is filled with groans and headaches. Harry complains and Draco gives him an hangover potion to make him shut up.

He's nervous because today is the last day at Hogwarts and he is moving in with Harry. The day goes by quickly and Draco sits with Blaise and Pansy who are going to move in together and probably get married.

"Did you get into the school Dray?" Pansy's head is on Blaise lap when she ask Draco.

A smile blooms on his face, "Yea, thanks to Harry's influence I got in."

Blaise smirks and Pansy gives him a knowing look, "You're smitten Draco." At the same time, "Just tell him!"

Draco scowls at the two of them, how could he possibly say such thing to Harry. "He doesn't feel the same way guys. He's been going on and on about some new guy he met named Ryan and won't bloody shup up about him. He even wants me to go on a double date with him!"

Blaise and Pansy don't say it, but they just know that someone is going to get hurt.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When they get to King's Cross Station Draco hugs both his friends and promises to owl and visit.

"You better tell him soon, Dray." Pansy tells him while giving him a stern look.

Draco shrugs it off and waves at them both to look for Harry. "Oi! Draco! Over here!" Draco turns and smiles when he see's Harry running over to him.

"Come Draco. Let's go and see our new flat." Draco can here the excitment in Harry's voice and can't help feeling giddy either.

They arrive at the flat and Draco is impressed at they decor of it. The theme is black, grey, and white. A fluffy white carpet is placed on the floor, there's a balcony that looks over London city and the living room is spacious with black leather couches. The kitchen has marble floor and it's clean with a smaller window letting light enter. A hallway brings into four rooms, two of them have beds and the other two Harry tells him are their studies.

"So how do you like it?" Harry ask letting his eyes roam the flat.

Draco can't help the smile that grows on his face, "I think the place is brilliant." And he knows it was the right thing to say because Harry smiles that smile that he fucking loves.

When night reaches and Draco is asleep he dreams of Harry. But this one is different than the rest of them.

Harry doesn't tell him that he loves him, it isn't of them both kissing, sex isn't involved.

He dreams of warmth, of smiles and green eyes. He dreams of cuddling up next to Harry and just laying in his arms, letting him soothe him to sleep. Draco swears that he feels a soft feathery kiss placed on his temple and of a warm hand caressing his cheek. He swears that he hears a small voice near him, "I love you, Draco."

When Draco opens his eyes he see's nothing, only the darkness and soft light of the moon. But Draco can feel the warmth disappear.


End file.
